Some might say
That I’m slightly mad, a bit off kilter, or that I need my head examining;
They might say that being with me is hard work, that I’m needy, that I’m too emotional.
They ain’t seen nothing yet!
I can be a Lioness, ferociously defending her cubs,
Facing the threat full on, hissing and bearing my teeth.
I get like this when there’s injustice done against those I love,
When they’re maligned, when someone lies about them.
I get the bit between my teeth.
I can be an Ostrich, hiding my head in the sand
Until the danger goes
But the danger never really goes away, and so my head is permanently stuck
Half way between fresh air and the depths of despair.
The fear of losing my head, my heart or my sanity
To some obtrusive enigma who stalks me, ready to pounce.
I can be a Deer, strong and mighty,
Proud (in a good way) of what I’ve achieved, of knowing that what I do
And say makes a big difference; using the strength to help others,
Be a positive influence, loving life, being creative.
Some might say I’m a mix of them all, and they might be right.
Some might say none of the above describes me quite adequately,
And not in a complimentary way at all.
Some might say, “You! An Ostrich! Don’t be daft!”
But, sadly, I have to put them right, because I know that I do hide my head
When the going gets tougher than tough.
Sometimes I’m a Lemming,
Ready to throw myself off the nearest cliff
Because the pain is too much, too deep, too hurtful.
There are still days like these.
Days when I can’t put my finger on exactly how I’m feeling,
Or, if I can, wanting it to go away, leave me alone,
Stop playing inside my mind,
Stop using my head as a playground,
Running, causing havoc, spinning the roundabout too fast, the swings too high,
Which makes me feel sick, dizzy, screaming to stop them,
And they just leave me, laughing, thinking it’s funny.
Well, it isn’t, so bog off (I could say it differently, but I’m trying to be oh so ever polite…)
And so I ask the Lioness to prowl, around my mind, keeping it safe,
To stop the Lemmings from coming in,
To make sure that the Ostrich is somewhere else that day.
And I ask the Deer to give me strength, to make me courageous.
Lioness and Deer, walking together,
Keeping me safe.